Tales from an ordinary therapist, Lesley Shearer: Perfection & Anxiety
How perfection exhausts the brain…
As I grew up I had a clear vision of my own averageness. I am not particularly clever, I am not a top achiever, I am not that neat and tidy but what I am is, fairly content with my ordinariness.
On the other hand members of my family are, lets just say, above average in most things (whether they are perfectionists or not is for them to say lol! ).
Perfectionism can affect people of all ages and lifestyles. It is increasingly prevalent among new parents and students. Perfectionism can be about attempting to correct or deal with a defective, flawed, not so good enough sense of self.
Because perfectionism can look like a good thing as it often provides success, approval and mastery. It is also forming habits that can lead to rigid black and white thinking. It can paralyse your ability to make choices, procrastination, chronic stress and a deregulated nervous system.
So what is it? In basic terms is it a desire to be perfect. Perfectionism involves exceedingly high standards that a person sets out to achieve, the desire to be accepted by others and the need to be accepted.
‘A perfectionist’ is a person who yearns to be flawless in all that they do.
Notice when you are motivated and achieving your goals when you are feeling encouraged and working towards self – improvement.
Stress, fear of failure, procrastination, negative thinking, giving up easily and being over cautious. ( For example, spending 30 minutes going over an email checking for spelling errors. Or constantly trying to improve things by re-doing them, so they will be perfect)
How to enjoy your life more and worry less….
Perfectionism itself is not the offender, allowing it to ruin your well being is.
Love & Laughter,